September and October have been pretty brutal months for me - probably because I’ve filled my plate with other people’s work. I haven’t been “creating my own thing.” It’s left me dry. I don’t like it.
I am presently coloring Alex Sheikman’s Robotika: A Few Rubles More and a few Iron Man pages as a Marvel tryout. I have yet to collect payment from Summit for my illustration in Total Girl and I’m still waiting for word from the Hold on Tight project. My remaining compensation is pretty much under hostage.
To top it all off, I have pre-production animation backgrounds to conceptualize for… what…? The PROMISE of compensation …. for an amount of money unknown to me. Why I am still doing it is economically illogical. I’ve half a mind to just bail under such an arrangement. I only need something to push me off the edge.
So it’s in this state of mind that I am looking forward to do something new. Away from the PC maybe. Perhaps learn something new. I don’t know.
Bills take out a third of my monthly income. My dad has decided to retire without a penny to his name. He’s addicted to medicine (and Coke) and he can’t even pay for the medicine that really matters. He doesn’t even pay the bills - and yet he doesn’t know how to turn things off and save. In fact, he would verbally abuse the rest of us for even suggesting it.
Gosh, and I’m almost 30 years old… where do I get the money to start my own family?
Whatever I can spare is invested into the Philequity Fund. I have been doing so for the past 3 months, it is a gradual migration from bank deposits. I like to think I’m being smart about my money and finances - but another side of me is anxious that I’m not spending enough on myself. Me, the artist. What comics have I bought lately? What books can I afford to read? Who are the people that I can be working with who can make sharpen my skills? I feel like I’m missing out and only existing simply to fulfill responsibilities, and it is a sore feeling.
